on quitting


I am really good at giving up. I wouldn't say I have commitment issues, but I have a really hard time sticking with things for an extended period of time.

In college I switched schools three times. I changed my major more than I'd like to admit (seriously though, it's SO hard pick just ONE thing. It's like the world is your oyster years 19 to 22), and after six years of teaching at the elementary level I've recently taken the extra risky leap of working for myself as a product-based business owner.

While I was in college I started my first blog. Then I switched my focus and started another blog, and yet another. I created a YouTube channel, changed its name twice, so my blog name changed with it. I eventually stopped blogging, stopped uploading to my YouTube channel, and jumped into health and fitness coaching.

Prior to becoming a health and fitness coach, I tried my hand at several forms of physical activities. As a kid I danced, played soccer, volleyball, lacrosse -- tried running cross country (sucked at that), went to one track and field practice, and was a cheerleader. I never stuck with any of those extracurriculars for longer than a few years -- my longest being dance that lasted almost a full decade. I literally quit everything I started.

I don't know if it was self defeat or if it was just utter curiosity that led me to trying so many different things throughout my life. I never really quite found something I was exceptionally good at. I was constantly in search for something that just clicked and I couldn't put my finger on what that something was. I was always just kind of mediocre at everything; I had fun with most things I tried, so I guess that's really all that matters.

When I started working out on my own, I would stick to a consistent routine for a few weeks at a time before I got too lazy or too bored with whatever I was doing. When I found coaching, I was on the brink of an epic quarter-life crisis meltdown and thought it was the only thing that would pull me out of my high anxiety slum that had already carried on too long.

I went in head first into the health and fitness world and became completely obsessed. Meal planning, working out, drinking shakes, sharing my 'journey' with strangers online. I was the fitness girl that so many people try to avoid these days. I'd reach out to people I didn't know, asking them to be on my team, trying to convince them to join me. There was a huge part of me that felt fake and salesy throughout this process, but I pressed on, determined to leave my 9-5 some day and earn a six-figure income like the many coaches before me.

I had some success there, and finally felt like I was good at what I was doing. It wasn't until I went on vacation that summer that I completely fell off track and started to dread the cold messaging and workout-related posts filling up my Instagram feed. The excitement was gone and I immediately closed that door, grasping for straws to find something else to fill the void.

I started searching for a hobby. I admire my significant other for many reasons, but I really always admired (and even envied) him for his passion for a variety of interests. I wanted that. I wanted that so badly. I was always great at lounging, eating mac n cheese, watching reality TV and dancing with my friends at the club. But all of that was getting old and I didn't feel a sense of purpose or excitement from any of those things.

I found candle making, then soap making, and before I knew it I found my hobby. This hobby, as you might have read in my previous post, is what turned into my current business. I felt like this time I REALLY found my groove and was determined to not let that fire that started in me go out like it had so many times before.

Everything I learned about social media during my stint as a health and wellness coach applied so well to my newfound business. I understood algorithms, hashtags, engagement, consistent posting; I loved taking product shots, editing photos, and building a brand out of something I created with my own two hands. My deep love for writing even applied itself here, as it allowed me to craft blog posts on my website, emails, and social media posts.

One thing I love about building my brand that came a bit unexpectedly, was it led me back here. Writing a personal blog again. It's given me an outlet during moments where I need a break from the work I do as a business owner. It's allowed me to continue to be creative without restrictions or pressure to market my products. It's allowed me to find who I am again, and to do something just because I genuinely enjoy doing it. I may have taken breaks, shifted my focus, hit walls here and there, but I always came back to writing. Whether I was changing majors, starting new blogs, fitness coaching, or starting my own business, writing was always there. It was always in everything I did...

...I guess there might be one thing I never quit after all.