The Biggest Things Holding You Back In Your Life (And How You Can Change Them)
The other day I was standing in the kitchen talking to my significant other about business — a topic that often comes up in our conversations now that we have both left our 9-5s. We started talking about mindset, success, beliefs — and he got me thinking about some of the more subconscious thoughts that are hidden in the back of my mind. I started tapping into those thoughts, realizing that there were some lingering limiting beliefs that I needed to let go of in order to create the life I’ve imagined for us. I recognized that I had some tidying up to do, so that same night I got to work on rewiring my mind.
For so many years I found myself in a cycle of “I’ll nevers” and “I can’ts” while constantly comparing myself to everyone who seemed to have everything I wanted. I was so envious of the people who appeared to have it all. I scoffed at social media posts of people flashing photos of their extravagant trips, engagement rings, wedding days, beautiful homes, baby announcements; I avoided reading success stories, scrolled past income reports, passed up captions about others leaving their 9-5s, and winced every time someone mentioned how well their business was doing. If I couldn’t have it, I didn’t want to see it.
I wondered for so long why I couldn’t have what I wanted. It all felt so unattainable. It got to the point where I couldn’t even picture myself having any of these things because it felt so far out of reach. I told myself I’d never to be able to have what I actually wanted, and I would just have to suck it up and accept the fact that I’d be working for the weekend and could only be slightly happy for the rest of my life.
But then something crazy happened.
I made a big leap. A big, scary, risky, yet thrilling leap. I decided to take my life back by saying goodbye to my teaching career. The day I left my job and got in the car to go home knowing I would never have to go back to working for someone else, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that I actually did something that I truly wanted to do. I made a promise to myself and I kept it. I did something so many people only dream of doing, but don’t actually have the guts to do it. For more than two years I had imagined what it would feel like to leave. Every day I envisioned walking out of those doors for the last time. Every night I dreamed of that day. For years. And one day in June of 2018 I finally made it happen.
Those years I spent dreaming and envisioning though, I was still holding on to some limiting beliefs that it wouldn’t actually happen. There was a part of me that worried it would be too difficult to leave for financial reasons. How would I make money? What would happen if I couldn’t pay my bills? How would I pay off my student loans? I worried that people would judge me for my decision since I spent so much time and money getting degrees for a field that I didn’t love anymore. What would my family think? Would my coworkers think less of me? Would I be viewed as a failure for not being able to “hang” at a job that had become so emotionally, mentally and physically draining? Were my coworkers better and stronger than me because they could handle it and I couldn’t?
Do you know what I see in those questions up there? Fear. A whole lot of fear. Had I let go of those limiting beliefs and shrugged off the fear a lot sooner — maybe I would’ve left a lot sooner.
It wasn’t until September of 2017 that I told myself I had finally had enough and I would do whatever I could to get out of there and work for myself. I knew I had to finish out the school year, but I felt so confident in my decision that all that fear, all those limiting beliefs went out the window. My determination to leave was so strong and so unshakeable that I wasn’t afraid anymore. I stopped caring about what people would think. No limiting belief could match that determination I had.
So I put my foot down, put my blinders on and let go of those fears, those limiting beliefs — and in return, it freed me. It allowed me to turn those dreams into reality. As I often say, this new reality is so, so far from perfect. Working for yourself full time requires so much hard work and determination, but you also have to be fully committed to working on yourself and eliminating those limiting beliefs that are buried in the back of your mind.
I still have to constantly work on myself. I still have limiting beliefs that hold me back. But what I do have now, is PROOF that overcoming those limiting beliefs opens up so many doors and new opportunities. If I did it once before, I know with certainty I can do it again, and again, and again. Now, when a limiting belief comes creeping in, I acknowledge it. I recognize it’s there and I change it. I change my thinking. Instead of feeling like you can’t or won’t have what it is you desire so deeply in your heart, tell yourself you WILL have it. Put your foot down. Put your blinders on and believe you can make it happen. Dream about it, envision it happening, and don’t let anyone or anything keep you from achieving that goal.
So what are the biggest things holding you back in your life? Fear. Limiting beliefs. All it takes is a shift in your thinking. I was determined. I was motivated. I made a serious effort to not let the fear and the limiting beliefs win. I looked at those posts I once avoided and I started to envision myself in those situations. I turned those things that once discouraged me into things that encouraged me. I started reading personal development, listening to Podcasts, creating vision boards, and really working on myself. I still have a ways to go to build the life I want, but I made the first giant step, and I want you to know that you can too.
I’ve compiled a master list of some of my favorite mindset-shifting, life-altering, personal development resources for you that have helped me purge some of these negative thoughts, and have allowed me to pursue the life I want to have. This list is filled with my favorite books, podcasts, videos, and resources from Tony Robbins, Jay Shetty, Gary Vee, Jen Sincero, Jenna Kutcher, and so many more. You can grab them for free below and start taking the steps to change your life right now.
What limiting beliefs are holding you back in your life? What are the negative thoughts in the back of your mind that are keeping you from achieving your goals, landing your dream job, or pursuing your passions? How can I help you push past your fears and limiting beliefs? I’m here, and I’m all ears.